I Don’t Care How Much Weight You’ve Lost

For those of you that know me the best, you know a few things about me: For one, I love to workout and I love to eat food, good food, so that goes hand in hand. I love to write and I’ve penned three manuscripts, including my brain child, Once: the Lost Book of Cain, which I hope to turn into a series. I’m an opinion writer, which I did for a time via Facebook, which I’ve since stopped and am looking to make an actual opinion blog, which will be geared more towards my libertarian politics. I’m a huge Cleveland sports fan, and I love my Browns more than anything, and I also support the Indians (2017 is THE year), and the Cavs. Since Cleveland doesn’t have a hockey team, the Winnipeg Jets are my favorite, and the expansion Vegas Golden Knights are going to be a close second, because any team with the name ‘Knights’ are just high on my support list. I love symphonic metal more than any other music genre, my dream vacation is Scandinavia, despite the fact my circulation tends to cease in cold weather, I would do anything to enter the world of Harry Potter, my Hogwarts House is Ravenclaw, and I love all things magical. Despite my weirdness, I take pride in being this way. I sound like a nice guy, right? Well, I also like to bust fitness myths, so that’s what I’m going to talk to you about today.

So, three weeks ago, you started a weight loss regimen and you like to burn five to six hundred calories a day by walking on a treadmill incline. You’ve lost ten pounds and are motivated for more! For starters, I admire your dedication and commitment to living this kind of lifestyle, but you’re doing this all wrong. Okay, now I just opened Pandora’s Box, because I just told you that your ten-pound weight loss in three weeks is definitely not what you think it is, because you only care about the number on the scale. You cut your already low calorie diet even further and ignore my statements, thinking you’ll prove me wrong and impress me by losing another ten pounds, which takes significantly longer to do. Not just that, your energy is lower, your motivation is lower, you feel weaker, you’re getting sick more often, and you’re now starting to binge eat on some days because you’re now so hungry you can’t control yourself. Now you just gained a few pounds back.

You’re talking to a twenty-five-year-old kid who aspires to one day become the Dr. Phil of fitness, and be that compass that will point you in the right direction. So, now you’re finally in front of me and asking me why you’re now in this kind of situation. The first thing I’m going to ask you is this: “Are you out of your mind? What were you thinking? Cutting your calorie intake to a number well below what you need to be eating and increasing your physical activity on a treadmill just to lose a few pounds? Do you even know what you’re doing to yourself?”

You start to respond with something you’ve seen on TV and read on the internet, where both “fitness experts” shared the same view on the subject, so I respond that you absent-mindedly believed them without checking the credentials of these self-titled internet trolls trying to sell you something and make a quick buck. Look, sir, or ma’am, I don’t care about the number on the scale, that’s obsolete in the world of fitness. We don’t do scale weight alone anymore, you’re well behind the times, my friend. I couldn’t care less if you lost twenty pounds in an effort to prove me wrong, I still want to see more than only the weight drop. You’re wondering why you feel the way you do, and I’m going to tell you why you feel the way you do.

When you decrease the calories as much as you’ve decreased them, nothing good is going to come out of it! You’ve already experienced the yo-yo effect, which is why you’re starting to put weight back on. You’ve restricted your caloric intake so much your body is in serious survival mode here, meaning that you lost more muscle than fat the first time around, I can tell you that, and now you’re experiencing decreased energy and motivational levels. Again, this is because you have restricted yourself so much the immune system has begun to compromise, which is why you’re feeling worse by the week. Your muscular strength has also decreased, because your body is in fat storage mode and muscle wasting mode. In other words, since you’re not eating and fueling your body, your body is eating itself and you’re allowing it to do so because some so-called fitness expert told you to eat no more than one-thousand, two-hundred calories per day. Look, you haven’t listened to the right people, and that’s why you’re in the situation you’re in. You figured since you did some research on a few bogus products not backed by sound research. You thought you were in trouble then? Well let me tell you something, you don’t’ know trouble.

Now you know why I couldn’t care less about the amount of weight you just slashed, because it wasn’t the weight you wanted to slash. At this point, your metabolism is so slow that you’re going to be in fat storing mode for good unless you start listening to me. We need to up your calories to where your body is burning them efficiently. We need to get you off the cardio machines that you’re hooked to and put you onto a program individually tailored to your goals, and that’s what we’re going to do, because your way didn’t work. And it’s never going to work, unless you start going by my way, because whether you like it or not, I know what’s best for you, and you have not the slightest idea.

Sorry for my ongoing tough love, but I’m like that one teacher in high school everyone couldn’t stand that they saw at a class reunion ten to twenty years down the road and thanked them for being straight and honest with them when they were in school. Look, I have enough people I can call friends and I don’t need any more friends, so I’m not here to be friends with you, I’m going to change you and change your outlook on all things fitness. I’m busting myths left and right here, and sometimes reinforcing my myth buster style several times over, because I’m going to cram this into your mind.

Be prepared….

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